A Penny for Your Unstable Thoughts
by wayway10123
Summary: Post Drop the World where Eli and Clare's breakup has only served to make Eli more determined to win over her affections. Will a new English project help his case, or just make him more obsessive?
1. Chapter 1

Post Drop the World where Eli and Clare's breakup has only served to make Eli more determined to win over her affections. Will a new English project help his case, or just make him more obsessive?

Clare stood in front of the bathroom mirror at school, absentmindedly running her hands through her ringlet curls. Other girls filtered in and out with their nose turned up at her because she was that girl. The girl whose boyfriend crashed his car for her, and then, in an act of self-preservation, broke up with said boyfriend on the spot.

It was completely unfair. SHE wasn't the crazy one, but everyone was acting like she could become unhinged at any moment. It wasn't the greatest feeling, and she wondered whether or not Eli ever felt like this.

"Clare! Where have you been? We were supposed to meet out front like 20 minutes ago!" was all anyone within a 50 foot radius could hear as Clare's best friend Alli stomped into the bathroom. Clare shook her clouded head and turned apologetically to Alli.

"Sorry, I guess I just am a little out of it," she said with a soft smile while walking out the door, Alli close on her heels.

Alli sympathetically put one hand on her shoulder, "Hey, it's alright. I saw Eli in the Cafeteria with Adam. He looked a little sick to be honest," she said but regretted it instantly when she saw the distressed look on her friend's face.

"I hope he's okay. I didn't want to hurt him, but I thought it was for the-"

"Clare you don't have to explain anything to me. He was whacked out-always calling you, never leaving you side. If I were you, I would have gotten a restraining order," Alli grimaced as she thought of the scariness Eli had put Clare through.

They separated at the end of the hall and Clare headed toward English. She took a deep breath, but could barely choke it out because at that exact moment Eli brushed past her, with a deliberate shoulder touch, and practically speed-walked into Mrs. Dawes' room.

Okay, she thought. He's angry, but she expected this much. She sat down in her seat and turned to find Adam but he was nowhere to be found.

"He's not here, " Eli muttered so quietly, she wasn't sure he'd even said it, but then he started saying something about the flu, Clare knew he must be talking to her. She opened her mouth but no words came out so she shut her jaw and turned back around in her sit just in time for Mrs. Dawes to saunter in, her skirt whirling behind her.

"Class, we have a very exciting project to start today! We will all be bringing to life a famous Shakespearean work. Now I know this sounds like your previous project, but there's a surprise twist! We will be sending in these pieces for the Annual Shakespearean Art festival in Toronto, and the winners will have their piece on display, a $2,000 dollar scholarship, and a whole day off of school to attend the festival!" The class started to buzz excitedly, but Clare looked down at her cuticles. Who would she even be in a group with? Adam was closer with Eli, and that SO was not going to happen.

A junior Clare had never spoken to raised her hand. "Mrs. Dawes, can we choose our own groups?" Please say no. Please say no, Clare thought hard, trying to transmit this message to her teacher a la the air waves. Mrs. Dawes pondered the notion before shaking her head, and Clare was letting out a massive breath until she opened her mouth again.

" I rather think you all had quite a bit of success in your last groups," she said with a knowing, mawkish look at Eli an Clare, "Let's stick with those." Eli's mouth turned up in a Grinch-like smile that made Clare's stomach churn. How would she get out of this?

Eli's POV

For a hearse driving, black wearing, punk rock music listening son of a gun, God sure did help his sorry ass out sometimes. He was going to get to work with his Clare again, and Adam wasn't even here to third wheel it. Eli would never wish an illness on his best friend, but what's a little fever and cough when his relationship with Clare was potentially on the mend?

Clare moved over to his desk with a sheepish look on her face. " I think we should do Julius Caesar. Easy to depict, an a real crowd pleaser, not that will win. I mean there's hundreds maybe thousands entering but I guess our grade is on the line too so….," she trailed off when Eli just sat there staring at her. "What?" she asked a little irritated.

"Oh nothing, just that you're already psyching yourself out and we haven't chosen a play yet. I personally think we should do Romeo and Juliet again. I mean we relate well to it, and frankly, Julius Caesar would only please the gore-loving jocks who attend these festivals to get into their girlfriend's pants.

Clare blushed at that last part and muttered a quick "fine" before writing down Romeo and Juliet on the top of her paper. "Eli, I think we should work on this separate. It's too soon after our breakup, and I'm really busy anyway."

"Busy? What, do you already have another boyfriend? Jeez Clare, "he said with a disgusted look on his face. This is what Clare meant. When he acted like this, like he owned her or something, it made her feel suffocated.

"No, not that it's any of your business though. I just have a lot of homework," she replied quickly and sternly.

"You know what Clare? It's my grade too, and I think working apart will seriously hurt our project. If you don't comply, I'll be forced to tell Dawes, "he said, motioning to their teacher who was currently talking Connor out of a space-themed Taming of the Shrew.

Clare inwardly groaned, "Fine," she said, "but not until Adam gets back."

"Au contraire. Adam will be out for at least a week with the bird flu or some shit. My place or your place tonight?" Clare widened her eyes.

"Eli, I don't-"

"Clare, I'm not going to jump your bones or something…Look, if we are gonna win this thing, which I really think we could, we need to put aside our differences for the time being. What do you say?" He held out his hand, the one with the skull ring.

Clare sighed, "Okay, okay." She took his hand and shook, and it made her slightly nervous when Eli held on a little too long.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, me again! Sorry for the short chapter last time (one of those quick bouts of writing steam) but the rest of my chapters should be longer. Thank you so much for any reviews they are EXTREMELY appreciated. Also, I try to work with any character suggestions.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi (admitting it is the first step)

Adam's POV

Adam peered down at his phone through watery eyes and a stuffy nose. 15 missed calls! He only knew one crazy bastard who would call that many times.

As he dialed Eli's number, he thought about Eli and Clare's breakup. Adam was trying his damn hardest not to choose sides, but he would be telling a fat one if he said he didn't wish they were still together.

"Hello? Finally Adam! I called like 10 minutes ago. How are you? Doesn't matter, Guess what! Clare and I are partners for another Romeo and Juliet project. Well, technically you're in the group too, but you can't even hold down chicken broth right now so I'm not worried about it, "Eli said as he answered the phone, leaving Adam reeling to keep up.

"Ummm, Eli. Are you sure working with Clare is the best idea right now? You literally just broke up. Like a couple days ago. And wasn't Clare just after space? This seems counterproductive," Adam replied.

Eli frowned, "Well, she's coming over today…"

"What?! She agreed to that?"

"Not whole-heartedly…..I kind of said I would tell Dawes if she wouldn't work with me….," Eli sheepishly said, shrugging his shoulders.

Adam widened his eyes, "Dude seriously! You're blackmailing your ex-girlfriend into hanging out with you! You know how much Clare works for her grades, and you're using that information against her. "He usually tolerated Eli's crazy antics but this was just too much. Clare was his friend too, and didn't deserve to be treated this way.

"Relax man, it's for like 2 hours and will sit in the dining room if that makes you feel better, "Eli said rolling his eyes. " Now I'm gonna go popcorn, she should be here soon."

"Okay man…just take it easy."

Clare's POV

Misty rain started to float down from the sky as Clare made her way to Eli's house. She decided to walk, because telling her mom to take her to Eli's house would only lead to questions, and she had gotten enough of those from Alli and Adam today. They both wanted to ask if she was alright. Alli then told her a restraining order was still a viable option, while Adam told her to get her work done.

She trudged up the Goldsworthy's driveway, and hadn't even reached the door, when it swung open.

"Clare! Sweetheart! What are you doing here?" Eli's mother, Cece, exclaimed.

"Oh, just here to work on a project….I hope that's alright?"

"Of course! I know Eli will be pleased. He was so upset over you two breaking up! I told him that if you didn't want to be with him that way, then just be friends! I'm so glad you guys are working on that friendship. Things have been tough for him since the bipolar diagnosis, but we're definitely making progress."

Bipolar? Eli was bipolar. That explained a lot. She suddenly felt queasy. This was a bad idea, coming here. Eli was clearly still unstable, and she only made things worse.

Clare looked up to see Cece waiting expectantly. " Well, I'll just take my stuff in. I won't be here too terribly long.."

"Nonsense, you should stay for dinner!"

"No!...I mean….I have family dinner tonight." Yeah,right. Family dinner was her mom and her eating microwavable pizza pockets, and watching CNN news on the tiny TV in the kitchen.

"That's too bad. Well, go ahead in. I'm sure Eli's waiting."

Clare shuffled into the Goldsworthy's living room and dropped her bag on the familiar mud bench. Everything looked the same. The same records hanging on the wall. The scuffed up leather couch that Clare loved to sink into. Cece's tiny antique doll collection on the mantle that always seemed out of place compared to the rest of the room. She let the memories fill her for a second, before she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Clare…oh sorry," Eli said when he saw her jump a mile in the air. "Do you wanna work in my room? It has my computer and Bullfrog just installed a printer so…"

Clare tried to calm her heart. "Yeah, that's fine."

Clare walked up the stairs, Eli trailing behind her. When she turned around, she caught him staring at her, which he didn't even try to hide. She dashed up the stairs even quicker and stopped when she reached his door. The lock was gone, but she didn't want to intrude. She knew his room was clean. The two had spent numerous hours cleaning it, but she wondered if he had started again when they broke up.

Eli pushed open the door. She breathed a sigh in relief. It was just a little messy, but nothing like before.

Clare sat down on the bed before realizing how intimate an action that was. She couldn't move now, that would just seem weird. Pulling out her own laptop, she started to work, before realizing Eli was just sitting there watching her.

"What?" she asked.

Eli smiled and sat beside her. "Clare, what are we doing? We belong together. This project is just fate's way of letting us know."

Clare scooted a few inches away and started softly, "Eli, we broke up. I'm only here because you threatened to unleash Mrs. Dawes on me."

"Come on, Clare! I miss you, and I know you miss me too!"

"Eli, I care about you, but let's just work on the proje-" She was cut off my Eli firmly pressing his lips to hers. When she attempted to pull away, he placed a strategic hand behind her head and another on the small of her back.

He continued to move his lips against hers, moaning a little bit, and she could feel his body pressed up against hers. Clare couldn't even comprehend what was happening.

Eli had never acted this way before! She felt like she was on an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. The way his hands griped her waist was almost painful and she let out a small moan that Eli seemed to like.

She squirmed but to no avail, as it only served to make Eli more frustrated. Her hands shoved him everywhere, so he moved them to her side in one movement.

She moved her face side to side in an attempt to throw him off, and he pulled away before bringing his mouth back down.

Eli moved his lips to her jawline and left kisses up and down her neck, with Clare still trying to wiggle away. She started to cry, and Eli stopped. He pulled away with a dazed look in his eyes, and the tears streaming down Clare's face seemed to jolt him awake.

"Oh my…Jeez Clare I'm sorry, got a little carried away, "he managed to get out before Clare bolted out the door, still sobbing.

This was so unlike Eli. To kiss her and touch her without her consent was something he had never done, not even in their heaviest make out sessions. She felt extremely uncomfortable in his presence.

As she sprinted home, her phone vibrated several times, Eli psycho calling her. She pressed ignore every time. Adam then called and she hesitantly picked up.

"Clare, what happened? Eli told me he kissed you and you ran off!"

"Kissed me? More like tried to stick his tongue down my throat while he held me down," she replied, irritated and frustrated that she was once again being portrayed as the bad guy.

"What? That doesn't sound like Eli…." Adam said, thoroughly confused.

"Yeah, well it happened and know I'm considering going back there with a bat and-"

"Clare this doesn't sound like him….I mean, he's on a new medication maybe that has something to do with it. I'm not saying you should talk to him…..I'll ask him." He paused when he realized he was being insensitive. " Are you alright? Need a ride anywhere?"

"I'm fine, just really creeped out. Like, do I go back and talk it over with him or do I punch him or press charges? I've never dealt with this before; Eli was always such a gentlemen."

"Exactly what I'm saying! You know what; he was really erratic on the phone with me earlier too. He would hardly stop talking long enough to catch his breath. I think his new medicine is really messing with him." Adam said, trying to justify his friend's deplorable actions. "I'm going to call him and ask, and maybe talk to his parents."

"Whatever," Clare huffed, "I never want to see that disgusting, slimy, black-wearing son of a bitch again."

Eli's POV

Oh man! Eli thought. He'd really done it this time. Eli didn't know what came over him, just that he felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her, so he went with it. It didn't seem so heinous at the time, but the way the tears were pouring out of Clare's eyes really disturbed him. He didn't know he was capable of something like this.

Adam had called him 3 times, so he decided that if Clare wasn't going to pick up, Adam was the next best thing.

"Look I can explain-"

"Eli, do you know how upset she is!? She walked home in the rain, crying! How could you?"

"Dude I don't know! It just came over me. I've never done anything like this before. Is she alright?" Eli scrambled to keep it together.

"Eli she fine, "Adam replied quickly, "But that's not the big issue. What is going on with you? Are you on some new medication? Or god forbid, drug?"

"I'm on some new bipolar medication, but it's supposed to calm me down, not turn me into a pedophile!" Eli exclaimed, sickened with himself.

"Man, calm down. Maybe you're allergic to it or something. My uncle had to try a bunch of different-"

"Don't tell me about your stupid uncle again! He was asthmatic, not bipolar!"

"Look, I'm just trying to help, "Adam was getting impatient with Eli, "Talk to your parents, maybe you need to switch medications because Eli, your actions are not alright."

Eli sighed before saying goodbye and hanging up. He couldn't stop thinking about Clare. Her face, her beautiful eyes, her soft lips- he shuddered thinking of his earlier actions.

He tried calling her again, to no avail before deciding to send her a text message.

_Look I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now, but I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. If Adam didn't already tell you, I'm bipolar, but that's no excuse. I'm going to look into switching medications. Please, when you can tolerate to see me again, I want to talk._

Clare's POV

Eli's text made her soften a bit before she remembered what he did, and she immediately deleted the message along with his number from his phone.

"Clare-bear!" She heard her mother shout from down stairs, "Where are you sweetheart?"

"Here, mom," she said tiredly from the top of the stairs.

"Well come down, we have guests!"

Clare rolled her eyes and made her way down stairs, and was greeted by a tall man, and his even taller son who looked vaguely familiar.

"Clare!" the man said, "I haven't seen you in ages. You're all grown up."

The man's deep voice struck a chord with her. The Martins. Jake, who she used to spend her summers with back when they went to the cabin up north.

She had always had a crush on him.


End file.
